


A New Chapter

by T3Tohru



Category: Original Work
Genre: Contest Entry, F/F, Happy Ending, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, New Year's Eve, New Year's Eve Countdown, New Year's Kiss, Original Character(s), Short Story, emotional tension, original short story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29514465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/T3Tohru/pseuds/T3Tohru
Summary: This is the piece that I wrote for the 'Writer's Cove' Discord Server New Years Contest. I somehow managed to place third in the contest (which was overwhelming) and I wanted to share it with you.Contest Prompts were as follows:- The clock strikes midnight on new years eve and...- a character or characters experiencing a new beginning after the end of an important chapter of their life (this doesnt have to be centered around new years)."These are very intentionally vague prompts, so feel free to spin them in any which way you would like to. You can make them as wholesome or as horrific as your heart desires, so long as it complies with the general rules of the server."So, this is what I came up with...
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	A New Chapter

The soft _clink_ of fine china rang out around me. It smelled of liquor and peppermint, spices and lavender, and everything my brain associated with the holidays. The smell of burning wood, which I would typically find comforting, crept through the room like a fog and echoed with the sound of feet as people moved around before me. I watched as they shifted. They were moving elegantly, gracefully, carefully working their way around the room to wish the other guests a happy holiday and all the best in the new year. Yet even though I could see them, even though my eyes tracked their motions – I couldn't. They were a blur; my gaze was unfocused. The chatter was a distant rumble in the back of my mind as I stared glassy-eyed out into the large room.

My finger twitched against the glass I was holding. I didn’t mean for it to happen; I was doing my best to remain calm and controlled. I was desperately trying to pretend like I was alright. Like everything was normal or like I wasn’t about to change the entirety of my life and rip the floor out from underneath the very feet I was standing on. The ones supporting my shaky legs and the ones I was currently fighting to keep steady.

Why did it feel like this?

I tried not to jerk in surprise as a guest brushed my arm while they passed by. Their warm skin had accidentally grazed mine and it made my nervous heart beat like a rabbit’s in my chest. I could feel it pulse beneath my skin, carrying with it the panic and anxiety that was leaching out from my very bones.

I'd stood in this room a thousand times. I'd walked the halls of this house endlessly, chased down monsters and fairies, and played hide and seek while running from my cousins. I knew everything about this home – every nook and cranny, every space, every secret. It used to be warm. It used to be happy and loving – it was everything that I associated with safety. With joy, trust and security. And yet now, here I was, standing in an unfamiliar yet recognizable room as discomfort shifted down my spine like a sickening whisper.

Maybe it was because his place didn’t know my secret. Maybe that’s why it felt so foreign, so intimidating, so unwelcoming – because I’d lied to it. Because I’d explored it so thoroughly and yet kept my own secrets close to my heart.

I wanted to leave.

I wanted to be anywhere else but here. I wanted to go home – to go back to our apartment. Alone, just the two of us. Then shut everyone out and pretend like they didn’t exist. I wanted to go back to what I’d already been doing, to what I already knew – limit my visits to critical birthdays and holidays only, distance myself and protect the fragile little world I'd slowly been cultivating for myself.

For Lilah.

I could feel her standing by my side – close, but not _too_ close. She’d said it was up to me. She’d said that it was my choice, but I’d assured her that this was what I wanted. And even now, as the turmoil bubbled in my stomach like a noxious poison, my feet were warm and cozy – I was set in my decision. I was going to do this despite the sadness that was creeping into my heart.

It was mixing horribly with the doubt that had always been there. The doubt that I'd always harboured, that had haunted me and led me down this very path to begin with. To me, standing here, holding a delicate champagne flute as the old grandfather clock by the bay window began to chime. Time was running out, my life as I knew it was about to end and frankly, I felt sick.

I thought I'd prepared.

I'd done everything. I’d thought about it, planned it, talked about it – hell, I'd even spent hours making up a contingency plan just in case things went horribly wrong. I'd made my peace with this. I had accepted the possibility of losing the people that I’d loved unconditionally for the whole of my childhood. Or, at least, I thought I had. But now, standing here as the clock continued to chime and people began to shout out in joy I felt completely alone.

Scared.

 _Terrified_.

It didn’t seem to matter how badly I wanted this, or how much I’d prepared – this was the single hardest moment of my life. If they didn’t accept me, I knew it was on them. I knew that this was _their_ choice and it was _their_ loss. I knew this.

But they were still my family.

And that fact was hurting me deep in a place I didn’t know it was possible to ache. I could feel it like a knife, plunged right into my very soul. It stung. It burned. It made the air in my lungs feel impossibly thick and tight.

“ ** _TEN_** _!”_

I couldn't breathe.

“ ** _NINE_**!”

Time ceased to exist. My bleary eyes traced over the crowd of familiar faces and took in their happy expressions and they counted down the final seconds of the year.

“ ** _EIGHT_**!”

 _‘Where’s Steve?’_ they'd asked me when I first arrived.

‘ _Oh, you came with your friend?_ ’ they’d said as they took my coat and saw Lilah by my side.

“ ** _SEVEN_**!”

She was my friend.

My best friend.

But she was so much more than that. She was my life – she was my everything.

“ ** _SIX_**!”

The chime of the old clock rang out through the gathering as my little cousins ran past my legs. They raced toward their mother in the center of the room and I felt my heart constrict tightly in my chest – I’d lost that chance six months ago. My own mother would never know.

“ ** _FIVE_**!”

People were raising glasses. My grandmother held a confetti popper in her hand, and she was smiling at the room, her eyes flicking over every child, grandchild and guest with pride.

“ ** _FOUR_**!”

My father was looking at me. He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners like they always did. I loved my father’s smile, I always had. I wondered if he would ever smile at me again – after when this was over. I felt Lilah shift at my side, and I knew she wouldn’t do anything. I knew she would calmly raise her glass and shout along with everyone else. I knew she would forgive me if I changed my mind.

But I hadn’t.

I couldn't.

I couldn’t start another year living a lie. I wanted this to end, I wanted it to be out because no matter how painful it was knowing I might lose all or some of the people here tonight – the pain of lying and losing myself was worse. The pain of pretending, the pain of knowing my own mother died never truly knowing me – it was worse.

It was suffocating.

“ ** _THREE_**!”

I forced my body to move. Turning my head to look at the incredible woman standing beside me and – it was like magic. I could feel the fog lifting as I looked at her. The haze that had clouded my vision and mind instantly cleared away as I took in the sight of her radiant smile. The Christmas lights that hung from the old wooden beams of the tall ceiling above us framed her face like a halo. She was looking at me in way that she always did – her eyes were bright and filled with joy. I could see the light dusting of freckles that covered her nose and cheekbones even in the dim light. I could see the scar on her chin from that time we tried to open a wine bottle with a shoe and failed miserably. I could see everything, clearly, for the first time in what felt like weeks, since I’d first asked her to come here with me and had spent the days leading up to it wallowing in fear.

I could see it all and I knew.

She was perfect.

She was everything.

“ ** _TWO_**!”

I shifted a step closer and twisted my body to face her fully.

And suddenly, nothing else seemed to matter.

Because the truth was, nothing else did matter. I loved this girl more than anything in the world. She made me the best version of myself, she made me laugh, she made me smile. She made me want to be more _,_ to be better and to try my hardest at everything. She made me want to love openly, freely and honestly.

Honest to myself.

“ ** _ONE_**!”

I wanted to marry her.

I wanted to stay with her forever.

And I wanted _everyone_ in my family to know that I was the happiest that I'd ever been in my life. I'd found my soulmate. I'd found my person, my love, my best friend, my partner.

And I didn’t want to hide anymore. That chapter of my life was over and this new one was about to begin.

“ ** _HAPPY NEW YEAR_** _!”_

Lilah yelled the words in excitement with the rest of my family as confetti from the popper filled the air around us. But my lips didn’t move. Not a single sound left my body as I closed the small space between us, threaded my fingers through her hand and leaned in.

My lips brushed against hers. I could feel her hand tighten around mine as I kissed her – and my heart exploded in my chest. Everything around me faded to black, the world fell away, and it was just her and I and nothing else. I smiled against her lips, a small laugh leaving my own as I pulled away to look at her and grinned wider than I had in weeks. Her gaze was flicking over my face as I gripped her hand tighter, I dropped my forehead against hers and let out a quiet breath.

“I love you, Lilah,” I whispered.

“I love you too, Claire.”

My eyes fluttered closed as a strange calm settled over my body. I had never felt this before, I wasn’t confident of what it was but as my girlfriend squeezed my hand and pulled me into a hug, I could feel my past physically close like a book.

This was peace.

This was love.

This was a new beginning, a new life – one where I would be free to be myself.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you for reading <3


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